Love Hate Heartbreak
by JulzPadfootMoony
Summary: Everyone says that tragedy brings people closer together. In a way, they're right. The need for comfort and reassurance often brings out deeply hidden things; things people never wanted exposed. Harry/Ron slash, character death. Please R&R!
1. Love Hate Heartbreak

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the Harry Potter series; it belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. I also do not own the name Halestorm, or any of the lyrics I have used as headers for each chapter title. I am not making any profit from my writing and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N:** Hey there readers! I know some of you are probably impatiently waiting for the next chapter of Never Alone, and I promise to have it out soon, but I HAD to get this plot bunny out of my head! This story is fairly short, each chapter about 1,500 words or less, with 8 different chapters. It was inspired by the self-titled first album of the band Halestorm. If you've never heard of them GO LOOK THEM UP ON YOUTUBE RIGHT NOW! They are amazing! Anyways, I hope you enjoy. I should be posting one chapter each day, maybe more or less depending on how busy I am with school and work.

**WARNING:** Character death. Canon. Yeah, sorry. Also, slash sex in later chapters. Yup, this is slash. And not my usual! It's Ron/Harry. Strange, yes? Just read! You'll like it!...I hope.

**P.S.** You should look up each song on Youtube, or what have you, and listen to it before or as you read the chapter. I think it helps with the feel of the story!

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**Chapter One:  
Love/Hate Heartbreak**

_Between love, between hate  
Shake the silence back but it's too late  
And it haunts you, and it haunts you  
It's a love hate heartbreak_

_-Halestorm  
_

Everyone says that tragedy brings people closer together. In a way, they're right. The need for comfort and reassurance often brings out deeply hidden things; things people never wanted exposed. In the face of hardships, barriers fall away and the raw, naked truth is displayed. No one knew this better than Harry Potter, except perhaps his best friend, Ron Weasley.

The funeral had been very small, very quiet, and very quick. They were all sitting ducks, targets waiting to be attacked while they sat and mourned for their loss. That they couldn't even take the time to mourn properly made Harry and Ron even angrier and grief-stricken. One of the hardest moments of their lives, burying their best friend and telling her goodbye, and they only had time to wipe their tears before they were rushed off to be hidden once more.

Ron had cried for days after Hermione was killed. He just laid there, sobbing until he had no tears left to cry, and then he would just shake with silent agony until he passed out from sheer exhaustion. Harry had tried to be strong for his friend, had tried to hide some of his own pain out of respect for Ron's misery. In the room across the hall from Ron's at Grimmauld Place, Harry would cry out his own grief while Ron slept, and then put his brave mask back on when Ron would wake up the next day and refuse to eat, again.

Ginny had been trying in vain to help them both, but her own sadness only made matters worse. After the second time Ron told her to get the fuck out of his room and not come back, Ginny had given up on her brother. She tried then with Harry, bringing him food, making sure he was sleeping, asking him if he wanted to talk about it. Harry would thank her for the food and take a bite or two to appease her stern gaze, assure her he was getting enough sleep to get by, and tell her that no, he did _not_ want to talk about it. He hadn't talked to anyone about it. Why?

Because it was Harry's fault, of course.

They'd been on the hunt for the Horcruxes, camping out in random places to avoid the Snatchers, to keep anyone tailing them from predicting any sort of pattern. The locket was gone, the cup destroyed and the diadem located. Under the veil of Harry's invisibility cloak, the three friends had snuck into Hogwarts through the tunnel underneath Honeydukes. Thinking it was the lesser of two evils, Harry had insisted that Hermione stay guard outside of the Room of Hidden Things while he and Ron went in to find the diadem that Harry _knew_ he had seen the day he'd hidden the Half-Blood Prince's book.

Harry's yell of triumph when he found the diadem was drowned out by a horrible, gurgling scream that had Ron running back to the door of the Room of Hidden Things, his wand at the ready. His wail of despair was enough to tell Harry that Hermione was gone; there was nothing they could do. Her throat slit. Quick, efficient, devastating. It had taken every ounce of strength Harry had to get Ron out of the castle, clutching Hermione's limp body in his arms.

So much had happened that night that Harry was still shocked to hear some of what went on. Even after four months, Harry still didn't know the full story. _Neville_ had killed Nagini? _Molly Weasley_ killed Bellatrix Lestrange? Harry _had_ killed Voldemort! Everything was in a sort of hazy fog, like Harry had been drunk and drugged the whole time and was only able to recall snippets. The black of Snape's eyes as the life drained out of him, the tang of blood in his mouth after Harry had died and come back. The way his parents, Sirius and Remus had looked so haunted, yet so welcome. Harry had gone numbly through the motions, and was amazed he had done any of the things people claimed he did.

After the funerals, the arrests, the trials and the clean up, many Death Eaters were still on the loose, which meant Harry was still very much in danger. The Ministry had raided Grimmauld Place and arrested the few Death Eaters they found hiding out there, and then restored the building to Harry.

He had been vehemently opposed to even stepping foot inside the door ever again, but they had nowhere else to go. With Headmistress McGonagall as the new Secret Keeper, Harry, the Weasleys and a few of the Order members moved back into the dilapidated old house, hiding once more from the things they had fought against, lost loved ones to.

Harry hated this damn house. It would forever be associated with grief, loss and despair for him, and many others. The hardest part of all, though, was watching his friend fall into such a deep depression that it was as if Ron had died along with Hermione. Harry felt like he had lost both of his friends, and it tore him apart.

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**A/N:** Please review and let me know what you think. I know it's short and kind of cuts off, but there's lots more to come!


	2. I'm Not An Angel

**A/N: **Heh, well, I kind of lied about when I would be posting next. Sorry about that! Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this slightly longer chapter, which is basically all smut from beginning to end haha. Happy reading!

**WARNING:** Explicit smut!

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**Chapter Two:  
I'm Not An Angel**

_I should've told you to leave  
Cause I knew all the time you couldn't handle me  
But you're hard to resist  
When you're on your knees begging please_

_-Halestorm  
_

The creaking of the old floorboards alerted Harry that he wasn't the only one still awake in the middle of the night. He sighed and grabbed his glasses off of his side table, expecting to see Ginny crawling into his bed as she'd often done over the past few months. Harry couldn't keep his gasp in as he saw that it was a different redhead shuffling towards his bed.

"Ron? Is everything alright?"

Ron glared half-heartedly as he slumped down onto the bed beside Harry. He had dark circles under his eyes, his hair was even messier than Harry's, and his skin was pale as ivory. In short, he looked like utter shite.

"Nothing is alright, Harry," Ron croaked, surprise showing in his eyes at the rusted sound of his own unused voice.

Harry sighed and grabbed Ron's hand in his own, squeezing tight. "It will be someday, I hope. Hermione is gone, mate, and she's never coming back. Trust me, I know how fucking hard it is to hear it, and especially when people try to tell you to move on, to heal. I say fuck them. We've paid our dues; we're allowed some time to fall apart, yeah?"

Harry didn't pull his hand away when Ron gripped too hard, when he was sure the redhead had drawn blood with his blunt fingernails. He didn't realize how very close Ron was until he felt warm, moist breath waft across his lips and cheek. A shiver that had nothing to do with temperature ran up his spine.

"Please, Harry...help me forget. Make me _feel_ again," Ron sobbed, pressing so close now that he was practically in Harry's lap. Wet tears streaked down pale cheeks and onto Harry's neck and chest as he pulled his friend close, not having any idea what he was getting himself into. Feeling Ron's body-wracking sobs shake his own body spurred Harry into action, and before he realized just what the hell was going on, his lips were pressing against Ron's.

Teeth and tongue were soon introduced into the surprise kiss, and there was no gentleness at all. Teeth clacked painfully together, tongues wrestled for dominance while lips pressed with bruising force. Harry hovered above Ron, his hands splayed on the mattress on either side of the redhead as Harry kissed him hard, almost with punishing force. It wasn't until much later that Harry realized he was trying to cure the numbness in the both of them, not just Ron.

Both men having been accustomed to practically living in their sleep clothes made for easier undressing. Harry threw Ron's sleep pants into the abyss of blackness that was his room, shimmying out of his own boxers while still exploring his friend's mouth with his teeth and tongue. He didn't realize that Ron had begun to help until he felt warm flesh press up against him, sliding smoothly and easily against his body.

An answering hardness pressed and jabbed into his thigh and belly, and Harry felt no shame as his rock hard cock rubbed rhythmically along his friend's thigh, leaving a slick trail behind that made for easier movement. A soft moan escaped one of them, Harry wasn't sure which, and suddenly everything felt right. Ron felt right, grinding his cock up against Harry as Harry rode his thigh. Their tangling tongues and nipping teeth felt right as they kissed like it was the only thing that could save them. And then a soft whisper met Harry's ears, sounding unnaturally loud in the quiet room, so recently filled with heavy breathing and sobs.

"Fuck me, Harry."

Emerald green met watery blue, and the desperate pleading in Ron's gaze is what broke Harry, what erased the last remaining vestiges of doubt from the Saviour's mind. And then everything slowed down. Harry shifted effortlessly into the circle of Ron's legs, and rough kisses became gentle, healing and soothing. Harry whispered a wandless spell as his fingers trailed down Ron's chest, across his abs, past his belly button and into the trail of course red hair leading down to a leaking, purple cock. It was beautiful. His fingers moved lightly along the shaft, tickling the throbbing vein before lifting the heavy sac below and rolling the hot bollocks gently, teasingly.

"Please..." Ron hissed, arching into Harry's torture-like touches, caresses. Harry's fingers trailed down, below the heavy sac, and met a moist, slick heat. Harry used one finger to circle Ron's puckered entrance, massaging the tiny muscles until they relax just so. As he pushed the digit slowly in, Ron gasped out a sob and pushed himself further onto Harry's probing finger. Two more fingers were added and scissored inside the redhead before Harry felt like it was safe enough to move on. Ron was a trembling mess, grasping at the sheets, Harry's arms, Harry's hair, his own hair, squirming as his arsehole sucked hungrily at the fingers pumping slowly in and out, in and out.

"Fuck me, Harry, _please!_ Oh Merlin, I need...I need you..."

Harry whispered the wandless spell he learned in his fourth year at Hogwarts once more, slicking his throbbing cock with the lube the appeared cupped in his free hand. As he slathered his cock, he continued to finger Ron, who was panting harshly. Harry gave in as Ron let out a desperate sob, and removed his fingers, only to press his cock to the loosened ring of muscles.

"Ready?"

"Fuck, _yes!_" The last word was drawn out in a hiss as Harry pressed forward, the head of his cock breaching that tight ring slowly. It felt as though his cock was going to be squeezed right off, and it wasn't until he was sheathed balls deep into his friend and stilled to gather his wits, that the intense pleasure slammed into him like the Hogwarts Express. Harry and Ron moaned in tandem as Harry pulled out slightly, and pushed back in with a bit more force than before. Following the same pattern, they created a rhythm, their hips falling and rising as they met each other's thrusts.

Soon, Harry was pounding into Ron, who was moaning and writhing against his friend, his hand a blur as it stroked quickly over his cock. With a shout that Harry was sure the entire household could hear, Ron's cock spasmed and warm, sticky come coated the redhead's fist and Harry's stomach. It only took two, three more hard thrusts before Harry was spilling himself deep within his best friend, moaning loudly as he fell against Ron's chest.

Still lying together in a tangled mass of sticky limbs, Harry felt a soft kiss pressed to the side of his sweaty neck and hummed in approval as a hand trailed down his sweat slicked back. Harry felt goose bumps rise as the sweat cooled, and only grimaced a little when his softened cock slipped out of Ron with a wet sound.

"Thank you..."

They both fell asleep, still in each other's arms, as the sun began to rise.

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**A/N:** Please review and tell me your thoughts! Six more chapters to go after this one. Thanks for reading!


	3. What Were You Expecting?

**A/N: **The next two chapters are really short, so I'm giving them both to you today! I know; I suck at posting when I'm supposed to. I really do apologize. I hope you enjoy, and thanks for reading!

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**Chapter Three:  
What Were You Expecting?**

_There never was  
A possibility I'd stick around  
It never was  
My intention to let you down_

_-Halestorm_

Harry woke the next morning, alone and cold. He glanced at the alarm clock beside his bed and saw that it was only nine o'clock, and that he had only been asleep for a few short hours. Knowing that trying to go back to sleep would be a futile attempt, Harry slid his glasses onto his nose and sat up, realizing belatedly that he was still starkers. His boxers lay in a crumpled heap by the foot of the bed, but Ron and his sleep pants were gone.

Breakfast was quiet and dreary as ever. Ginny was following in her mother's footsteps well as she loaded everyone's plates with too much food in the hopes that they would actually eat some of it. Ron didn't show up to breakfast until nearly everyone was finished, and Harry couldn't help but think that that was what Ron had been aiming for. As everyone trailed out of the basement kitchen, Ron and Harry were left alone at last. The silence was overwhelming and disquieting.

"Ron, I – "

"Don't."

Harry scowled and pushed his plate away, his arms crossed over his chest. "Don't what? You don't even know what I was going to say."

"I doesn't matter what you were going to say, just don't. Don't overanalyze this; don't make it into some big deal, because it's not. Just don't," Ron whispered, pushing his own plate away even though he hadn't taken a single bite.

Harry felt like the floor had been taken out from under him. So that was how it was going to be, then? They would just pretend like it never happened and continue on as they were before? Well fuck that. Harry couldn't do that, it was too late. Things would _always_ be different now, and that wasn't his fault all alone. Ron had come to _him_ in the middle of the night, begged _him_.

"Look, I don't even know what to think of all this yet, but if _you_ think that we're just going to pretend like nothing ever happened, you're insane. Nothing will be the same, Ron. Whether we regret it or not, it's too late to go back."

Ron slammed his fist on the table, upsetting a jar of marmalade and making Harry jump. His ice blue eyes were dark and looked so ancient, Harry was shocked that he wasn't looking at an old man. "Did you hear a fucking word I said? I said _don't! _Why does everything have to have an explanation, why can't you just leave it alone? What were you expecting?"

Harry wasn't aware of standing up until his chair fell back against the floor with a loud clatter, his breathing harsh as he glared at his best friend. "I don't need an explanation, you fuckwit! I'm pretty sure I knew _exactly_ what was happening while I had my cock up your arse! Why are you being like this?"

"Because it wasn't supposed to happen! You were supposed to tell me no, to send me back to my bed. You weren't supposed to let me use you like that!" Ron croaked, seemingly crumpling in on himself. The sounds of broken sobs tore Harry from his chair, and before he knew it, he was standing with Ron clutched tightly in his arms, crying into his shoulder.

"You know I would never send you away. You needed me, so I was there. What were _you_ expecting?"

And that was how Ginny found them, fifteen minutes later. She could tell something was different, something had changed, but she couldn't figure out what. Backing out of the basement kitchen slowly, she left without disturbing the embracing men, and sighed heavily as the feeling of having lost something profoundly important to her hit her hard.

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**A/N: **Like I said, it's very short, but very important. The next chapter will be up as well! Please review and tell me what you think, and thanks again for reading!


	4. Nothing to Do With Love

**A/N:** This chapter is a bit longer than the last one, at least, and pretty important as well. I'd like to thank the people who have reviewed so far, and everyone who has taken the time to read. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Four more to go!

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**Chapter Four:  
Nothing to Do With Love**

_You wrapped your arms around a murderer  
Pretending it didn't hurt  
Every time I cut you deeper and deeper_

_Hey I'm not the one, I'm not the one  
I'm not the one you wanna give your heart to_

_-Halestorm_

It only took seeing one quick, stolen kiss in a dark corridor to confirm her suspicions; Harry and Ron were more than just friends.

Ginny's heart ached with betrayal, jealousy and anger. Since when was Harry a poof? Hell, since when was _Ron_? Hadn't her older brother been moping around for the last four months because of his dead girlfriend? So what the hell was he doing, kissing Ginny's boyfriend like he had some right to? Alright, ex-boyfriend, but that wasn't the point!

Ginny observed them for the next few days. Nothing was too obviously different. They perhaps lingered with their touches a little longer than strictly necessary, and as much as she hated to admit it, Ron looked marginally happier, more alive. He'd even eaten breakfast, lunch, _and_ dinner three days in a row!

Harry even seemed more vibrant, though he hadn't been nearly as depressed as Ron. Perhaps she was just imagining things. Maybe it wasn't a kiss she had seen, but a whispered conversation? Just a really close hug, perhaps?

As Ginny walked up to Harry's door late in the middle of the night, she could hear him talking to someone. The soft tenor of his voice floated underneath the door, and though she knew it was wrong, Ginny stepped forward and pressed her ear gently against the wood.

"...think they're starting to suspect? I mean, yeah, I have been happier, thanks to you. But do you think they'd be able to tell why?" That was Ron's voice.

And there was Harry's. "Well, not exactly. But we need to be careful. We can't act like we're anything but mates, or people will start to wonder. Especially Ginny; have you noticed her staring at us the last few days? Maybe we did something wrong and she saw. Merlin, I can't even imagine how she would react."

"Harry...you never...with her, right?"

"No, Ron. There were a couple times that...almost, but no. I told her no, Ron. Don't worry."

There was a long silence, and Ginny couldn't decide if she should bolt to her room or stay to listen to what other secrets they might unveil. It was obvious now, there was no denying it; her brother and ex-boyfriend were shagging each other.

"Do you love her, Harry?"

"...I thought I did, but I'm not so sure anymore. Of course I love her like a friend, maybe even a sister, but...I'm not _in_ love with her. I just don't know how to tell her. I don't want to hurt her, Ron. I still care about her."

And that was all Ginny needed to hear. Squaring her shoulders and flipping her hair out of her face, Ginny flicked her wand and unlocked the door, swinging it open so hard it hit the opposite wall. Harry and Ron both jumped and stood, looking as guilty as possible and quite lost for words.

"How could you, with my _brother_ of all people?" she snapped at Harry. Who had gone extremely pale.

Ron looked torn between wanting to run away or defend Harry. Before he could decide on either, Harry stepped forward, his eyes pleading but his expression defiant.

"How much did you hear?"

"Everything! And I saw, in the corridor the other night when you...when you kissed him," she hissed, as if the sin was too horrible to speak any louder. "I told myself I was imaging things... I thought you loved me, Harry! You told me we'd be together again after the war."

"I do love you, Ginny! This has got nothing to do with love. Ron just needed someone to help him feel alive again, to chase the numbness away. You don't know what it's like!"

"Don't you tell me how I feel, Harry Potter! You don't know a _damn_ thing about me. You never bothered to get to know me! 'You'll be safer away from me, Gin. I'll come back for you, Gin.' It was all a bunch of lies!"

Ron stepped forward, grasping Harry's arm gently in his own to keep him from reaching for his wand and starting a _real_ fight. "Ginny, please. I'm sorry, I never meant for this to happen. Don't blame Harry, it's not his fault; it's mine. I was just so lonely without Hermione, and I didn't have anyone else to go to. I never meant for it turn into what it has. Harry's right, it's hasn't got anything to do with love. It's about...release."

Ginny didn't realize she was crying until the salty tang of her tears flowed from her cheeks into the corners of her mouth. She wiped agitatedly at the moisture and huffed indignantly. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you, either of you. Just...just leave me alone."

As Ginny ran down the hall towards the stairs up to her own room, she could hear Harry calling after her to wait, to calm down and just talk to them about this. But Ginny didn't want to talk. The boy she had fallen in love with the moment she set eyes on him at nine years old, had chosen her brother instead. And it had _everything_ to do with love, whether Harry and Ron realized it yet or not.

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**A/N:** Poor Gin. She could never understand how tempting boy love is lol. Thanks for reading, and please leave a review and tell me your thoughts so far!


	5. Familiar Taste of Poison

**A/N: **Again, because these chapters are fairly short, I'll be posting chapters 5 _and_ 6! Only two more chapters to go! Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoy!

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**Chapter Five:  
Familiar Taste of Poison**

_I tell myself that you're no good for me  
I wish you well, but desire never leaves  
I could fight this till the end  
But maybe I don't want to win_

_I breathe you in again just to feel you  
Underneath my skin, holding on to  
The sweet escape is always laced with a familiar taste of poison_

_ -Halestorm  
_

He knew it was wrong. Every time he kissed those lips, held him close, entered him or allowed himself to be entered, he knew it had to end. He knew that there was only so long before feelings started to change, before a quick fuck turned into sweet lovemaking. And it was happening fast.

Ron told himself every night that this would be the night he stayed in his own bed, dealt with his own grief and loneliness. He would not use his friend as some sort of sexual outlet anymore. He loved Harry, as a friend and a brother. They'd been best mates since the day they met, and he knew he'd be lost without the brunette by his side.

But as the moon leaked bright light in through the window and Ron lay down to sleep, the memories would flood him once more. The way Hermione's hair had gone from a frizzled mess in their first year, to beautiful heavy curls in their sixth. How gorgeous Hermione looked in her periwinkle dress robes at the Yule Ball, and the beautiful dress she wore to Bill and Fleur's wedding. The way Hermione would bite her lip and a crease would appear between her eyebrows as she researched in heavy tomes of knowledge she had probably already memorized and was just double-checking the information. The way her breathy moans sounded as Ron made love to her, ran his hands threw her hair, and kissed her like he'd never kissed anyone before.

In an instant, Ron was throwing his covers off and making quickly across his room, quietly opening the door and slipping into the hallway. Without knocking or giving any warning, Ron would slip into the room across from his. Sometimes Harry would be awake, waiting for him. Other times he would sit up from his slumber, frown a little, then lift the blanket so Ron could slip into bed with him.

Each time Ron kissed Harry, he tasted something familiar, something he hadn't tasted since he lost the love of his life. The sweet release from torturous memories he found with Harry was always laced with the familiar taste of poison.

As they lay together, limbs tangled and skin slicked with cooling sweat, Ron could feel the inevitable feeling sinking further and further into his heart each time. He wasn't falling for Harry, but the release he got from being with his friend. He coveted the intimacy they shared, and with every thrust, every moan, every time they came with each other's names on their lips, Ron knew it was wrong. He told himself that this wasn't good for either of them. But he couldn't help but cross the small distance between their rooms and fall into Harry's arms once more. He was losing this battle, but as he curled close to Harry, accepting one last kiss before they fell into a light slumber, Ron knew he had never really wanted to win in the first place.

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**A/N: **I know, _really_ short, but there's more! Each of these chapters are more like drabbles that connect one theme, to be honest. Please review and tell me your thoughts!


	6. Innocence

**A/N: **Slightly longer, but still short. I'll probably post 7 and 8 tomorrow so I'll stop killing you with suspense (sarcasm). Thanks for reading, and enjoy!

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**Chapter Six:  
Innocence **

_And you ache for things you don't understand  
That your tears don't mean a thing  
I only come when you scream_

_There's no such thing as fate  
Only yourself to blame, you never walked away_

_-Halestorm  
_

The first time someone besides Ginny found out, Harry decided to call everything off.

"We can't do this anymore, Ron. We're lucky it was only an Order member and not your mum or dad!" Harry was pacing his room, threading a hand through his messy hair in agitation. Ron was sitting on the bed, wearing only a pair of unbuttoned trousers and sporting a livid love bite on his neck.

Things had escalated since the first time Ron had crawled into Harry's bed almost a month ago. At first it had started as a distraction for the both of them, only at night when they both couldn't chase away their nightmares. Eventually, though, they started to meet in the middle of the day. Passing each other in the halls, Ron would shove Harry up against his bedroom door, pinning him there as he kissed the life out of him, both breathing heavily at the threat of being found out. _**  
**__  
_It was one of these unexpected episodes, though their roles were reversed with Harry pressing Ron into the wall, when an Auror who was an Order Member stumbled down the stairs for lunch. Eric had paused, a stunned expression on his face as he watched Harry Potter snog the hell out of his best mate while grinding their hips together. The two men only realized they weren't alone when Eric let out a strangled gasp.

They had begged the Auror not to reveal their little tryst, and the man had readily agreed, stating that he knew the pressures of war, and it wasn't his place to out them anyways. Harry had immediately dragged Ron into his room and started pacing.

"Harry, calm down. Eric isn't going to tell anyone - ."

Harry stopped and glared at his friend, who looked exhausted, but completely shagable. Harry groaned as he tore his eyes away and continued to pace. This was not good. "I know he won't tell, Ron, but that's not my point. What if it had been George or your mum? How would we explain this? It's...it's gotten out of hand."

Ron sighed as he scrubbed a hand across his tired eyes. Watching Harry pace was starting to make him dizzy, and he had a headache already from being slammed against the wall by Harry's enthusiasm for snogging.

"What is _this_, exactly? What are we even doing, Harry? I'm tired of not knowing where we stand with each other," Ron said indignantly, returning the other man's glare.

Harry stared at his best friend, feeling his heart sink. This wasn't supposed to happen. This was only supposed to be a bit of release, helping each other cope. "Ron...we're best mates who are doing each other a favour, that's all. But it's getting too risky."

"That's all?" Ron repeated, trying not to sound hopeful. He didn't think he was very successful as Harry gave him a sympathetic look.

"Don't do that. I don't want your damn sympathy, Harry. I didn't mean for things to turn out this way. I never meant for any of this shite to happen, but it's too late now, eh? So somebody saw; oh well. Does it really matter that much?" Ron asked incredulously. Why was Harry being so cautious about this whole thing? After all, what did either of them have to lose if people started to find out about their slightly less than platonic relationship?

"Yes, it does! Ron, I'm not your boyfriend. We aren't dating. It's just sex. I really don't think your family would approve, considering Ginny's reaction as well as the fact that your parents see me as a son as well. It's gone too far. You know I would do anything to help you. You're my best mate, my other half. But I have limits, Ron, and you've reached them. I don't want to lose your friendship, but this can't go on. I'm sorry."

Before Ron could respond, Harry was rushing out of the room, up the stairs, and into the uninhabited bedroom with Sirius' name blazoned across the door. Curling up amongst the sheets that still smelled like his Godfather's cologne helped soothed Harry, but remembering the look of betrayal on Ron's face as he told him that things were over tore at his control.

Harry had once heard Mrs. Weasley giving Tonks advice years ago. She had said, "If you love someone, let them go. If it was meant to be, they'll come back to you."

So Harry let Ron go, because he knew that this was just an unhealthy fixation on each other. He was only a poor replacement for the hole in Ron's heart where Hermione used to be. He couldn't give himself fully to Ron, knowing that he would only ever be second best. If he really meant that much to Ron, if it was more than just sex to heal emotional wounds, then Ron would come back to him, and Harry would wait for him.

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**A/N:** Oh, can't you just feel the angst rolling off of them in waves? Don't you just LOVE it? Sorry, angst whore here...Anyways! Please review and tell me what you think!


	7. Better Sorry Than Safe

**A/N: **So my brother finally extracted my old hard drive and managed to ghetto rig it into an external hard drive so I could get my stuff off of it! It's been more than a year, and I'm very sorry for that, but the last two chapters are here! Personally, they're my favourite. I REALLY hope people will come back and read the remainder of this story. As I said before, it's different from what I usually post, but I have a certain fondness for it.

* * *

**Chapter Seven:  
Better Sorry Than Safe**

_I'm not scared  
'Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me  
And I swear that I'll find it someday, just wait and see_

I don't care that you call me crazy  
I can't stay 'cause I need room to breathe  
There's nothing left to say, better sorry than safe

_-Halestorm_

_Six Months Later..._

Ron's new flat was small, but cosy. It reminded him of the Burrow and his family. George had been more than happy to share the flat above Weasley Wizard's Wheezes with Ron for the last six months, but with his upcoming nuptials with Angelina, Ron knew it was time for him to move on and be on his own for the first time. It had been hard, finding a flat he could afford to live in _by himself_, but with his mum's help, Ron had found one. It was even close enough to Diagon Alley that he could walk to his job at Gringotts. He apparated anyways.

Being a curse breaker wasn't quite as exciting a job as Ron had always imagined it would be. Hearing all of the stories from Bill had placed some sort of fantastical idea of the profession in his mind from when he was younger. Now, that wasn't to say that his job was boring, because it was far from. It was complicated indeed, and he'd had to take a few post-Hogwarts courses on Arithmancy and Ancient Runes to even qualify for the job. But he loved solving the puzzle-like curses, using his extensive strategy skills from years of playing Wizard's chess to help him break the curses.

Ron had only seen Harry twice since moving out of Grimmauld Place six months ago and moving into George's flat with him. Things had been too tense between the friends, and Ron just couldn't handle the constant fighting and awkward silences anymore. When George announced that he was recovered enough from losing Fred to move back into their flat, Ron had begged to go with him. George was happy that he wouldn't be living alone and readily agreed to Ron moving in.

Ron had worked as George's assistant for a few months before searching for something different. He loved his brother, of course, but he just didn't have the flare for a joke shop that Fred had had. Ron only ended up destroying the experiments George designed and performed for new products. When Ron had managed to destroy half the flat with a potion mishap, he knew it was time to look for something new, even though George assured him that blowing up their flat was a regular practice for him and Fred. George had then lapsed into a drinking binge in mourning for his lost twin.

Sometimes, George's depression was too much for Ron to deal with, only feeding his own anxiety and depression. He missed his brother and Hermione, and even Tonks, but he wanted to heal, to move on. The gaping hole where Harry had once taken place in his heart ached as well and he needed a distraction. Explaining all of this to Bill one night, his oldest brother had suggested Curse Breaking. Ron had enrolled in the Wizarding version of community college and taken the courses he needed for the job. He had been doing well, working his new job, living in his new flat and starting his new life. The day things started to unravel was the day he walked into work to find Harry Potter and two other men dressed in rogue robes waiting for him with the Goblins.

"There's been a break in," Zabyn, the goblin he worked closely with, told him.

"That's not possible," said Ron, carefully avoiding his old friend's eyes. He had meant to send Harry an owl, to invite him over to his new flat for a drink. But things still felt weird between them. He knew he wasn't over their affair when he had run into Harry at the Burrow a month earlier, sitting closely with Ginny, and wanted to smash his own sister's face in.

"Unless you're Harry Potter, that is," one of the accompanying Aurors snorted, the other laughing along. Ron glared, expecting Harry to laugh along with him. He was therefore surprised when Harry turned to glare at the two men as well.

"What have I told you about mentioning the war? That's another write-up, Robbins. One more and you're doomed to a desk job until further notice," Harry snapped. He was practically oozing authority, and that's when Ron noticed that Harry's rogue robes were slightly different, with a silver collar instead of black like the other two. He was clearly the man in charge, here.

Ron didn't realize he was grinning until Harry sent him a rueful smile and a half shrug, as if to say, 'Yeah, I'm the boss.'

"Tell me what happened," Ron insisted. The day had been a long one, unravelling layer upon layer of complicated curses and wards, protecting the identity of the person or persons who had broken into vault 356; one of the Malfoy's adjunct vaults. A charm had been set up in the vault to automatically record the contents and their removal, alerting the goblin on duty that something was amiss when, while not a single Malfoy had been to the bank in months, the vaults contents had been altered. Ron had inwardly groaned when Zabyn told him that the Malfoy's would need to be informed, and whoever had access to this particular vault would need to be on scene to give them permission to investigate. Looking up the vault's owner, insult was added to injury when Ron discovered that this adjunct vault was, of course, Draco Malfoy's.

The blonde didn't look too different than he had the last time Ron had seen him, though the pointy angles of his face had smoothed out into something much more attractive, and while still pale, he no longer looked like a cadaver. The big difference with Malfoy was his attitude. He was polite, thankful that Ron had contacted him to tell him about the break in, and was completely willing to let the Auror's in to investigate the vault itself.

While Ron and Zabyn ran a few checks inside the vault to make sure no more curses had been laid down as a trap, Malfoy stood next to Harry. The other two Auror's had been sent back to the Ministry with a few possessions of Malfoy's from inside the vault that had a potential trace of the thief's magical signature. As Ron finished the scan, which came up clean, he turned to find Harry and Malfoy standing much too close. Harry was blushing and biting his lip as Malfoy leaned even closer and whispered something in his ear, causing Harry to shiver.

Harry finally noticed they had an audience and took a short step back from Malfoy, sending Ron what was supposed to be an apologetic smile. Malfoy just looked smug, and accepted the news that there were no curses inside the vault with a simple nod and quiet 'thank you'.

Harry assured Malfoy they would find the thief and retrieve his missing possessions, while Ron handed over the paperwork Malfoy had to sign for insurance purposes. As the blonde handed the papers back to Ron, he stepped closer to Harry and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"See you tonight."

And then Malfoy was gone, and Ron was fuming. He was glaring so hard at Harry that he didn't realize Zabyn had been trying to get his attention for the last few minutes.

"_Mr. Weasley!_"

"Please excuse us, Zabyn. I have something I'd like to discuss with Potter in private," Ron said in a careful voice, though he did make sure to put slight emphasis on Harry's surname. The goblin grumbled under his breath, but left them alone in the Curse Breaking Unit main office.

"Ron, I – "

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Harry. _Malfoy?_ What the hell is wrong with you? You throw me over, too afraid to admit that it was more than just sex, and for what? To go after someone who you supposedly hated, had caused your life to be a living hell for years?" Ron knew he was shouting, and would probably be heard, but he didn't care anymore. He couldn't believe his best mate would rather go for Malfoy than stay with him. The betrayal was tremendous.

"_I_ was the one afraid to admit it was more than just sex? I gave you a chance to correct my assumption; I wanted _you_ to tell me it was more than that. I wasn't about to give myself up to you completely without knowing I wasn't the only one feeling that way!" Harry hissed in a much quieter voice, lifting his wand to erect a Silencing charm around the office so that the rest of their conversation could stay private.

Ron took a step closer to the brunette and poked him accusatorily in the chest, hard. "_You_ were the one who insisted we were just mates helping each other cope. I asked you specifically if that's all it was to you. You told me we weren't dating, that my family wouldn't approve. You told me that I had reached your self-appointed limits. I couldn't have made it any more obvious that I wanted more than just sex, than comfort from you, so don't you _dare_ try to put the blame on me. I _loved_ you!"

There was a long, harsh silence as Harry just stared at the angry redhead, his mouth hanging slightly open. There was a slight shine to his eyes that suggested he was close to tears, but Ron couldn't be arsed to care anymore.

"I thought you only wanted me because you couldn't have Hermione. I thought I was just a replacement," Harry admitted, his voice cracking near the end. Ron was right; he _had_ been too afraid to admit his feelings, and now look at what he had done.

Ron's tense shoulders slumped at the broken sound of his friend's voice, and the horrible words of pain that escaped his mouth. He cupped Harry's face in his hands and looked him directly in the eyes. "No one could ever replace Hermione in my heart, but you had your own place there, too. You were _always_ there, Harry."

Ron pressed his lips firmly to Harry's, wrapping his arms securely around his friend's waist. He waited only seconds before Harry responded, pressing back with gentle pressure. It was a short, chaste kiss, and then Harry was pulling away. The look on his face told Ron he was not going to like what he heard next.

"I wish things had gone differently, I really do. I still love you, Ron; you're my best mate, always. But I'm in love with Draco. After you left, he came looking for his wand that I still had. He'd changed so much, and he wanted to apologize, to try to make up for everything he had done. I didn't mean to fall for him, but before I knew it, I was head over heels. I'm sorry."

Ron was amazed that the sound of what was left of his heart shattering didn't echo around the room. He had no words to describe the sudden emptiness that he felt, and all he could do was nod and walk out of the office, through the cavernous bank, and out onto the stone steps, Harry calling his name desperately the whole time.

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**A/N:** Oh don't worry, there's still one more chapter! I warned you this story was going to be angsty! Should I post the last chapter up right away, or make you all wait a day? Hmm…decisions, decisions…Thanks for reading, and please review!


	8. Bet U Wish U Had Me Back

**A/N: **Gah! I'm so sorry! I thought I had posted this a LONG time ago, but apparently not! Without further ado: the conclusion of Love/Hate Heartbreak. Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoy!

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**Chapter Eight:  
Bet U Wish U Had Me Back**

_It was you and me and one hot summer  
Beading up with sweat all over each other, soaking wet_

_We didn't have a lot of time so we didn't waste much  
Finding all the right places you wanted me to touch_

_And all those memories make it so hard to forget about me_

_-Halestorm_

_Two Years Later..._

There were many things Harry was willing to make exceptions for when it came to Draco. He was a very needy lover, and Harry tried to do everything his boyfriend asked of him, but sometimes Harry just didn't seem to be enough for the blonde. The first time Harry had caught him going outside of the relationship, he had nearly ended things. It took a week of apologies and promises from Draco to gain Harry's forgiveness. Harry forgave, but he never forgot.

The second and third times weren't as easy to look past. Harry had stayed with Dean for a week, then with Seamus and finally with Neville and Hannah, who were expecting their first child. Draco had claimed he was drunk with the second guy, and the third...well – was he just supposed to turn the offer of a blow job down?

Harry loved Draco. He loved the way the blonde made him laugh, cared for him when he was sick, made him writhe with pleasure in so many ways he'd lost count over the years. But the problem with loving someone so completely was that they always knew exactly how to hurt you the most. Draco knew how to sweet talk him into pretty much anything, including forgiving him for cheating on him – no less than six times, that Harry knew of.

When Harry came home from work to find Draco having sex with another man in _their_ bed, that was the last straw. Harry could see past the other times; in clubs, in alleyways, even a public restroom. But in the bed they shared, where they made love and cuddled up to sleep together? Harry could not forgive him for that kind of betrayal.

Dean wasn't home. Seamus had a date over. Neville and Hannah were visiting her parents in Prague. Harry would have just rented a room at the Leaky Cauldron, but he didn't feel like being alone just then. He didn't want to go to the Burrow and be smothered with hugs and 'I-told-you-so's. Besides, Ginny would only try to convince him to leave Draco and try things with her again. While he was considering the first, he just didn't see Ginny that way anymore.

His only other options were George and Angelina's, or Ron's flat. While he loved spending time with George, Angelina and their son Freddy, Harry hated the feeling of being an intruder on their happy little family. After their fight almost two years previous, Harry had only spoken to Ron sparingly. No matter how much he begged Ron to talk to him about their relationship, Ron always avoided the subject and found a quick escape away from him. Perhaps it was time that Harry made Ron finally face the situation.

The look of surprise on Ron's face when he answered Harry's knock was almost worth the pain of having to explain why exactly he needed a place to stay. Sitting beside Ron on his comfortable sofa, drinking a butterbeer and pouring his heart out to the redhead felt so unbelievably good. He had missed his best mate horribly.

"I just can't handle it anymore. You were right all along, Ron. I should _never_ have gotten involved with Draco. I should have chosen you. I'm an idiot. You can tell me you told me so."

Ron sat forward and sat his empty bottle down on the coffee table, turning to look directly at Harry. As much as he may have dreamed of mocking Harry when something like this happened before, Ron's thoughts were far from smug as he took his friend's hand in his own.

"You're not an idiot, mate. Love sometimes makes completely rational people do completely irrational things; I should know, after all. As for choosing me, well...I can't say that I wish you hadn't. You just have to really think about what you want now, Harry. This seems to be a recurrent theme with Malfoy. Do you think it's worth it to stay there, or do you think it's time to let him go?"

Harry gaped at Ron for a long few minutes before snapping back to reality. "Merlin...for a minute there, I thought I was talking to Hermione. I miss her...I miss _you_. I can't be with someone who'll never think I'm enough for them, I just can't. No matter if anything more happens between us, promise me that we'll at least always be friends. I need you, Ron. I've been lost without you."

Ron sighed heavily as he pulled Harry into his arms, hugging him tightly to his chest. His messy black locks tickled Ron's nose and chin, and he couldn't help but place a gentle kiss among the mass of hair.

"Merlin, I've missed you," Ron whispered as Harry burrowed into his chest, settling comfortably in his arms. They stayed like that for a long time, just taking in the feel of each other after so long apart. Ron wasn't sure if things would ever be as intimate between them again, but he did know that he would never give up his friendship with this man ever again.

"Come to bed, Harry," Ron said quietly as he stood and led Harry into his room. They undressed and crawled underneath the covers together, finding each other as if magnetically pulled together. It felt so good to have Harry curled up beside him, his arm thrown over his waist almost possessively.

"Move in with me."

Harry bit his lip, taking only a few moments to contemplate his answer. There was no question that he was ending things with Draco, first thing in the morning in fact, preferably with Ron right by his side glaring daggers at the blonde while Harry packed. He smiled as Ron brushed a lock of messy hair away from his eyes, and knew that he could never tell this man no.

"Ok."

After a chaste kiss goodnight, they fell asleep in each other's arms, both thinking of this love/hate heartbreak, and what it took to finally find each other once more.

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**A/N:** So that's that. I'm a little disappointed with the ending, but I've rewritten it a few times now, and it always comes back this, so I guess it's meant to be. Thanks again for reading, and I apologize for the horrendously long wait due to my ditziness! Please review and let me know what you think!


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